OCW: The Prank

As I see it, I have three options:

A) Tell you all I really didn’t do anything to Donna and this whole thing has been a marketing ploy.

B) Make up a completely different prank and weave a cool story around it. The idea of doing this cracks me up, as Donna would be flabbergasted. WHAT? But I don’t have the time or brain cells necessary.

C) Tell the truth.

Since I’m supposed to come clean to win back Donna’s friendship, I better stick with option C.

Despite professional advice barring starting a story with back story, I must start there because the setup for this prank began days before the event, coded Operation Stuff a Scarecrow.

Part of my time on the hospitality committee was spent setting up rides for the faculty to and from the airport. I lined up a ride for our keynoter Angela Hunt with a huge fan of her work, Ernie Wenk. Not too long after, I found out Donna had already arranged to chauffeur the lovely Angie. As gently as I could, I broke the news to Ernie. Somewhere in his rant, he made a threat to sabotage Donna’s talent show act. Being the conscientious citizen that I am, I passed along this disturbing information to Donna, but withheld the part about me encouraging him.

Fast forward to the last night of the conference. Angie gave a stirring, beautiful speech. Then we stretched our legs–and mouths–for a little while until the talent show was to start. As I was innocently meandering around the room, I noticed a small white box tucked under Donna’s chair. I tiptoed up, sure she would stop her conversation and catch me at any time. My hands grasped the edges of the box. Nothing. I slid it back, inch by inch. Nothing. Giddy, I hurried back over to my seat.

“I’m all a-quiver!” I giggled as Mom took this picture, then I filled our small group in on what I’d done.

“Put it back,” Mom urged. But did I listen to Mother-Knows Best?

A few seconds later, Donna noticed the box was not where she had left it. Or was it? She walked up and down a few rows of chairs, searching under the seats. I’ve got to say, this was the BEST part of the whole thing. At any moment, I’m assuming, she would come looking for Ernie or me. Obviously, the ones who’d made the threat against her unique instruments would be the culprits, right?

I hadn’t counted on the adrenaline rush. I’m pretty sure the only thing going through Donna’s mind at that point was Where is the box?!? See, I knew her act wasn’t up until the fourth spot, but she didn’t. And she’d practised a new trick involving a banana for quite some time.

She spotted me with the missing box on my lap. Cheeks flaming, she rushed toward me.

Oh, no! Had I overstepped the boundaries of our relationship? I begged her forgiveness and promised her it’d be funny in the morning.

Her act was superb, even though I had messed with her “mojo” and caused her to be short of breath. Every now and then, she’d toss out a remark about a certain audience member needing to be removed from the building.

To conclude, I did it all because I really LIKE Donna and I knew she’d take the joke well. Which she has, though The Punishment will be posted on Monday.

Maybe next time I’ll listen to my mother!