A Very Merry Un-anniversary …

To me … yes, me! A very merry un-anniversary to whom? Yes, me!

Oh, I’ve had that remade song from Alice in Wonderland running through my head all day! Has it been a hard March 23? If I stopped to think about it, I’m sure it would be. The key is to stay very, very busy. 😉

But when I contrast this night thirteen years ago to tonight … Kevin and I made more than our fair share of “mistakes” while dating, but we signed the True Love Waits promise cards more than a year before we married, so our wedding night was still much anticipated. I’ve gone from that to blogging in my pink sweats! I know!

What helped me get through the day?

Friends.

I took the day off the hard labor I’ve been putting in and drove to Salem. One of my dearest friends lives there. Brooke and her husband were THAT couple to Kevin and I. You know, the ones you went on vacation with, played cards with, talked for hours with. It’s been hard on them to … to lose a friend. Which made her the perfect person to hang out with today. My three kids love her three kids and we got to spend some girl-gab time.

Many of you have asked what you can do to help a friend you have that’s going through a similar situation. (And, let’s be frank–there are WAY too many people in similar situations right now. What is going on with this world???) I’ll share a few of the ways people have reached out to me and maybe it will spark an idea for you.

~a meal given, frozen, to be used on a night when I don’t have the energy to make anything for the kids and me.

~cards sent. Many with awesome verses. One with a particularly appropriate hymn. I was saving all the super-cool verses to use in a single post, but the document was corrupted–hmm … why does that not surprise me?–and I don’t have time to recreate it right now.

~emails. They last longer than a phone call. The encouraging words can be poured over in the dark of the night, when emotions are larger. The challenges can be absorbed and prayed over. My agent sent me this gem: “For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose hearts are completely His.” I want my heart to fit His criteria!

~CDs. One friend sent me a music CD based on a book by Stephen Lawhead. Another sent me her unopened copy of a marketing CD.

~plants. My green-thumbed friend came over with a flat of petunias. She helped clean out the dead flowers from last year, planted the new ones, and then proceeded to weed the entire row of beds with me. This so inspired me to work outside that Dad and I took down a dead tree by ourselves that afternoon when she went home. (Insert growly Home Improvement sound.)

~more plants. My parents had ordered 1000 sedum sprouts before our family changed. The plants arrived on Friday and needed to go in the ground ASAP. Nine people from church came over Sunday afternoon and got muddy. Though it hailed in the five minutes before we hit the eroding slope, the weather cooperated the whole time we were out there.

~painting or other home projects. OK, I haven’t taken advantage of these offers yet, mainly because I like painting and Dad’s been doing most of my maintenance and upgrades.

~repair. We had another man from church come out and work on the four wheeler to get it running at its best.

~gift cards. Mine was to a coffee shop, but you could tweak it to home-improvement store cards or coupons for free babysitting.

~babysitting! If I were to add up the sheer number of hours I’ve spent at the doctor’s, lawyer’s, or in substitute-related meetings when I needed childcare for “Angel,” I’d probably kiss my friends’ feet. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Angel is the poster child for foster care. No exaggeration; there are no fewer than four families who would be interested in adopting her if I were asked to and were unable!

~praying. This isn’t always as obvious to me, though tons of people have said they are. There may be some of you reading this that don’t ever comment, don’t live near me, and in general have remain anonymous. Yet you’ve prayed for my family. THANK YOU! It’s because of you that I can say, “The LORD is my joy and my strength!”

~buying his/her book. I’m pretty sure this will work for the majority of people going through divorce, but on the slim chance that your loved one is having a tough time and he/she doesn’t have a book releasing, I offer The Familiar Stranger as the next best thing to buy.

Coming soon–pictures of the house!