I’m Going to ACFW!

I got a call yesterday that I am one of the blessed recipients of the ACFW Conference Scholarships!! It really was great news to balance out some of the stress of yesterday. At the same time, I know quite a lot of people applied and didn’t get one. I’m sad for them.

This is how I think about it. We all put our 100% into our applications and essays. Then, just like with a manuscript, we send it off and trust God to control 100% of the results. To me, this is confirmation from God to continue to whole-heartedly focus on my fiction.

Have you heard how Danny Gokey caught flack from some American Idol watchers for “capitalizing” on the death of his wife to gain sympathy votes? Come on, people! If you’ve ever been around a recently widowed person, you would know he thinks about his deceased wife constantly and to NOT talk about her would be abnormal. However, Danny doesn’t say much anymore, which makes it all the more emotional for me when he sings about love or loss.

So I asked myself, am I looking for sympathy “votes” because my marriage died? But it came down to this: that is the sole and compelling reason I cannot afford the conference and, thus, cannot be ignored. For any of you interested in what I wrote for my essay, here it is:

A wife imagines her entire life playing out with her loving, faithful husband by her side. And yet, her husband hides so much that he doesn’t even know who he is himself. Sounds like the start of a great story, right? Built-in conflict, high emotion, and relatable circumstances. My debut novel begins this way, but it’s also what happened to me in real life over the past month and a half.

At last year’s conference, the Genesis awards brought quite a lot of editor attention my way and ultimately resulted in my first sale. The project ended up on the fast track and will release a mere sixteen days before the 2009 conference. Every other time I’ve attended a writer’s conference, I’ve been able to look at it as an investment and opportunity to sell my novel. This year, I was looking forward to finding out how it felt to attend as a published author. Would I get even more from the classes since I wouldn’t be slipping in and out for editor appointments? Would God provide a whole new level of challenge and encouragement? Could I say hundreds of people attended “my first book signing” because I would be included with many other authors? The possibilities excited me!

Then my husband left. With him went my best friend, financial security, the ability to be a stay-at-home mom, and the gift of focusing on my writing full time. But more than ever I feel like I should be at the conference. While I cannot even begin to comprehend what my finances will look like until the house sells and I find a “real” job, I do know that I will not be able to justify the transportation, lodging, and conference fee.

I know there will come a year when I miss the conference—and maybe that time is now—but I thrive on the energy, the knowledge, the friendships, the community. The closest I ever feel to heaven on earth is when I’m surrounded by like minded, word-loving, book-crazed people all competing for editor or agents’ time and money, yet generous and encouraging to the last drop of ink in their pens. I know of no other industry that models Christ’s love like the writers of ACFW do: in worship, in prayer, in support, in selfless acts, and even in helping others when they are going through a tough financial time. Thank you for your consideration.

In case you couldn’t tell, I think ACFW rocks!