Less than two weeks …
I was sprawled on a beach blanket today at the Oregon Coast (Rockaway Beach) pondering the fast approaching release date and how having a book out will change my life. And then I realized–
I could be at the same beach in twelve days and absolutely no one will care that I have a book in the stores! Since when is this world revolving around me? 😉
The fog rolled in after we did, but the beach was still relaxing and meditative. Not sure how that last word fits with eight kids and only two adults, but it was. I looked around at the beauty God made for us and was overwhelmed with gratitude. Each particle of sand adds to the world in its own way, creating a unique landscape. Much like each of us do.
I’ve been focusing on contentment the last few days. For a couple of weeks, the only time I feel truly at peace is at church, listening to worship songs, or talking with close friends. My “at rest” state is far from content. While I love my life and truly thank God for all the blessings, something is missing.
As in a partner/lover/best friend to share my life with. There are moments when I am overcome with the urge to give … give a meal, a hug, a kiss, a smile. Or maybe it could be described as an urge to serve, to submit. I’m discontent with being husbandless. Which isn’t to say I’m wanting just anyone to fill the role! Better clarify that!
When I forecast five years from now and imagine my life, it creates anxiety and restlessness. When I focus on the joy of the moment, I’m content and at peace.
And today had so many joys! We stayed at the beach until after normal dinner time. On our drive back, the tide had gone out and the flats by Garibaldi sported blue herons and a line of flying pelicans. A stop at the Tillamook Cheese Factory gifted me with an Udderly Chocolate cone, while the kids went with Mudslide, Bubblegum, and Chocolate Peanut Butter. Yum! We closed out the factory and actually ate the last of our cones standing outside in 57 degree weather. Watched the temp creep all the way to 75 by the time we got home at 10 PM!
Thank you, Father, for wonderful family and friends, for sand and surf, for ice cream and burgers, for today and what may come tomorrow.
That sounds lovely. 🙂 Glad you had a good time!
So, you want to skip the dating, engsged psrt and head right to a husband? 🙂 I bet there would be some takers. You will find someone, pstience Miss Berry.
Jessica, it was wonderful!
Jen, that is SO funny. I had a couple of loved ones ask me about this post. Said I sounded desperate!! As a writer, you’d think I could express myself more clearly. I was trying to get across the loss of a partner, not an immediate need to fill the spot.
While patience is not my strong suit, I’m not going to rush into anything! 🙂
I don’t think you sounded desperate at all- I loved this post. I guess I like the ones that make me cry! I am praying for you right now, my sweet friend!
Amy, glad to hear your perspective that I wasn’t desperate. You know my heart and the struggles I face. Love you!