The chorus of Brandon Heath’s song I’m Not Who I Was keeps running through my mind.
I used to be the go-to parent volunteer. Now I’m working in the schools.
I used to be the stay-at-home mom. Now I’m the barely-home mom.
I used to be the wife with the perfect house and the smile and open arms for her husband at the end of his hard day. Now I manage the house as best as I can and save my smiles and hugs for my children … at the end of my hard day.
I used to bake and cook meals with multi-step recipes. Now I put the healthiest thing I can on the table using the least effort and money.
I used to pay the bills. Now I make the money or the bills don’t get paid, but I still have to find the time to pay them.
I used to leave “the providing” up to my spouse while I provided the comfort and support and love to the family. Now I do both.
I used to submit and serve. Now I lead and decided and bear the responsibility.
It hit me the other day–the enormity of what I’m doing. What I couldn’t be doing without my family and friends supporting me.
None of what I’m doing is inherently bad. I find joy in a lot of it, like substituting. The changes happening in me are refining and honing me, but the stakes are so much higher now.
I realized that the kids will always have a different mother. I am not the same woman I was a year ago, nor the same woman I would have been at this time without the divorce. But God knew that was coming, which means I’m closer to the woman He is making me to be.
~~~
My friend, Angela Breidenbach, who TRULY is the current Mrs. Montana, blogs a bit about The Familiar Stranger. She encourages us all to follow our dreams!
We’re always a work in progress being refined and brought closer to what the Lord wants us to be for Him!
What you are doing is amazing and important. And the kind of woman you are now won’t be who you are in 5 years. Just keep your eyes on Christ and your life in His hands. Then you don’t need to worry about anything else.
Blessings!
You’re doing a great job, Christina, with much grace and courage. 🙂
Blessings,
Susan
One thing is for sure…God is not finished with us yet! Praying for you Christina!!!
Love and hugs,
Cherie
Kind of like our writing WIPs (work in progress), huh writing friends? We can always use a little editing, or revamping of the plot, or a totally head-spending twist in the story!
Christina,
I’ve been following your blog tour and I am anxious to read your book. I hope that somewhere in the tour I will win a copy. If not I’ll find one. Your personal story is an inspiration to me. I’ve been divorced for ten years and even though there is a loss, I’ve become many things I would never have done if I stayed in the marriage. I think is going to be true for you, too. Keep up the good work.
Deborah M.
debbiejeanm[at]gmail[dot]com
Deborah, thank you for the encouragement! I don’t think there’s any way I could go through all this and not end up a better woman or Christ-follower at the end. Adversity shows us how strong we can be.